When I first heard that there was a New York Times piece being constructed about Bloggy Bootcamp, the one-day blogging conference organized by Tiffany and Heather, co-founders of SITS, I got excited.
Surely, an article in the New York Times means the blogging business is legit. It’s for real, and here to stay.
Even when the article came out, I admit, I thought it was incredible I was part of something so big it deserved some space in the NYT. Because in my mind? The NYT is highest of high standards. It’s the epitome of journalism gold.
Maybe I’m not as smart… maybe I’m still naive…maybe, because I was there, and was so excited to be a part of it, I didn’t see the condescending headline right away: Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand.
But then I realized the title did something no other headline had ever made me feel.
It made me feel guilty.
Guilty that I spend time blogging. Guilty that I took a whole day away from my family so I could have some “real-time girly bonding” while I “pecked away at my Blackberry.” Guilty that I had fun, and learned so much in one day, I’ve decided to do it again in September.
You know what? I have enough to feel guilty about, like forgetting first birthdays and working while my baby is sick.
I’m a nice person, NYT. Why are you making me feel so bad?
Because when I saw the graphic that went with the story in the Style Section of the Sunday paper (Style section? Really?), it just made me feel even worse. Each picture portrayed a woman entrenched in her portable iDevice, while her child was being ignored.
Is that supposed to be me?
There are so many great articles about the piece, I am not going to go into everything that’s already been said better than I could say myself, but I was there. I know what went on.
Mommy Bloggers are more than Moms who have nothing better to do that clack away on our iPhones and laptops. We have opinions. We create content. We are funny. We are honest.
I know that everyone who presented was amazing, genuine and real. And Tiffany from SITS? With or without shoes, she impressed. I felt like we were old friends by the end of the day. I know she put a lot of work into the event, and it showed. She (and everyone there) was a class act: Enthusiastic, supportive, energetic and positive.
I also know I missed my family dearly. I couldn’t wait to pick up my baby, kiss Hubs and get big hugs.
The day was about supporting each other, and making real life connections. Not once did I feel not cool enough, not smart enough, or not savvy enough.
I felt like I belonged. And to truly feel like you “belong” and are “supported” among 90 women? Well, that’s something to write about.
{ 12 comments }
Well said! I too felt just like you. Excited to be apart of NYT and just totally missed the headline at first. Moms have enough guilt on their plate and for another “mom” blogger to write something like that awful. I probably should take time to write a follow up article as well.
@Tina @ Life Without Pink, Well, I never wrote a follow up article for BBC… so this was it!
Bravo. The author and the NY Times played on the one feeling that I can never quite shake…mom guilt. I feel guilty if I buy myself a new pair of shoes, even if mine are falling apart, because obviously as a mom I should be spending that money on my family. I feel guilty when I want to order a pizza because, obviously as a mom I should be making dinner every night (which I almost always do anyway). I feel guilty that I want to read something other than the Berenstain Bears and Thomas the Train. I feel guilty that I am tired of washing diapers and the list goes on and on and on.
The sad thing is that if it was a room full of stay-at-home, work-at-home or work-out-of-the-home dads the article would never ever have had the same feel.
@Catherine, Wha? You don’t read kids books before you settle in for the night? So. Weird.
Kidding.
Totally agree on the if-it-were-men- comment too… Such double standards.
And… I think I read right… washing diapers? As in cloth? Wow. You deserve a pair of Jimmy Choos or something!
Amen, sitstah! the conference made me feel empowered. The article didn’t change that. And it didn’t make me feel any more guilty than I already feel about being TOTALLY AWESOME at something other than mommying (positive self-talk helps me…). Wait- actually, I don’t feel guilty about that! I am glad for the distraction that energizes me to be better at “my real life”.
angie
@seriouslyahomemaker, You so crack me up. Yes, you should feel great about being totally awesome. ’nuff said, lady!
e
This article made me sick.
When I read the article at first, I didn’t think much of it but the title hit a soar note with me. I joke about this all the time but it’s my joke. It was like it was not her joke to tell. If that makes any sense.
But then like you as I read more of the article, I began to feel guilt. Shame on them for making me feel guilty for my hobby and how I spend my free time.
Shame. Shame.
@Jen, That makes total sense. I could see me saying the same kind of thing… but when someone else says it ( the title) it’s like… they are seeing it as what is REALLY represents.
Not sure if that makes sense.
I feel bad for the writer. She probably has no clue what impact she has left.
Oh, I’ll bet that writer knows the impact she’s had now…I wonder if the NYT will address the flack they’re getting? Probably not. That headline was ridiculous…I’d say something more coherent, but the nyquil’s kicking in. I’ve got a cold, because I love my baby so much, I let her wipe her snotty hands all over my face while she was sick (eww. I know).
I so agree with you. That title made me feel like I was taking time away from more important, more pressing matters, while I went off and did my coffee-drinking and online-schmoozing. Such an inaccurate and poor portrayal of our community. And like Kat said in her post about the NYT article, we blog ABOUT our families and what we experience within them. I really liked this post, and I think you’re an excellent writer. I love reading your blog. And by the way, you are SO fabulous in every way. I will see you in September, and we are definitely hanging out. I don’t care what you say.
Excellent take on it and you saif exactly what it made me feel… guilty. (of course, I had those other issues as well…)
But still, you’re right. We already make ourselves feel bad. Wht do we need other people to do it as well? UGH
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