So, a few weeks ago, I talked how I broke down in Target when I was reading this book, and why I can’t read sad, sappy crap books to my daughter.
But this week, I want to talk about scary kids’ books.
Not scary, as in, Harry Potter- books-you-expect-to-be-a-bit-thriller-esque. Scary as in books-that-look-cute-and-harmless-but-turn-out-to-be-scary.
What am I talking about? Hansel and Gretel, folks.
Let’s refresh your memory shall we?
Hansel and Gretel are siblings who (suprise!) have a Wicked Stepmother. When the family is too poor to buy food, Wicked Stepmother and Father decide it is a good idea to leave the kids in the forest to starve and die, thus relieving them of their parental-feeding-duties.
Awesome.
Kids are stranded, scared, and end up at a Gingerbread house, where a Wicked old lady-witch lives.
Oh yeah, she eats children.
So, she puts Hansel in a cage to feed and fatten him up, and plans to burn Gretel in the fire oven. Gretel out-dupes her, and shoves her in instead killing the Wicked old lady-witch.
This is for kids?
Gretel frees Hansel and they go back home to live with their Father. The same Father who left them for dead in the forest… twice.
Hansel and Gretel was written by the Grimm Brothers and man, those guys killed when it came to kids’ stories. They penned Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Snow White, to name a few. Wicked Stepmothers and Old-ladies were no strangers to these guys.
But I am really supposed to read a story in which kids are left for dead in the forest to my daughter? Really? Yeah, I don’ t think so. Sure, I know it’s a classic, but it’s kind of scary. For me. And I’m 32.
So, I’ll sugar-coat the story a bit.
In my version Gretel turns into a fairy princess. Hansel becomes a great dragon slayer.
And their Wicked Stepmother dies a horrible, painful death.
Because that b*tch totally deserved it.
{ 13 comments }
I like your version better. You know what else is way scary? Little Red Riding Hood. What gives?
Fairytales are not for the faint of heart. They still freak me out and I’m almost 40.
I just found your blog from SITS!
I work with children a lot and I totally agree about this book. I don’t like reading it at all, but when the kids ask to read it, I usually change the ending to make it happier too
Have a good day!
Although these original fairy tales seem grim, (pub intended) they do serve important psychological functions. I actually wrote a psycho-analytical paper on Hansel & Gretel, inspired by my own fascination with the story as a child. Read Bettelheim’s The Uses of Enchantment for some interesting perspectives on this subject.
@Holly Fairall, But Bettelheim committed suicide… perhaps his analyses were clouded by depression!
Uh, that was supposed to be “pun”…it’s hard to type while holding a 15 lb 2 month old in one arm.
Hansel and Gretel scared the hell out of me when I was little. I thought they were walking through the forest and dropped bread crumbs to remember their way, but got lost when the crumbs were eaten be animals…maybe I’m reading the cleaned up version.
Still scary though!
@Mama Kat, Just the act of getting lost in the forest is scary, no?
I think it is time for some updated Fairy Tales. Oh wait, we have them, they are called “Sex and the City” episodes.
You are so right! Most of the fairy tales are awful. And you don’t realize it until your kids want to have them read to them.
@Emmy, I am so going to *edit* the ones I don’t want to read!
This book totally freaks me out and since my daughters name is Greta I’ve forgone reading it to her at all.
@kisatrtle, Love your daughter’s name!
You need to write your version! I’d buy it!
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